Ah, the fuck. Versatile and meaningful.
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about the other people my age (early 30’s, if you must know), it’s that they seem to have a misconception that they have to give their fucks away EVERY TIME. Let me explain, as I realize that this might seem a bit vague. I’m talking specifically about getting worked up over things that they have no control over, or things that don’t affect them/their loved ones. It seems to me that adding this undue stress on your own shoulders is just a bad idea. Yes, I understand that with the present liberal agenda, everyone is being told that they are now required to care about everyone else. Blah, blah, blah. But I’ve found that if someone is ready to buckle down, get their shit together, and maneuver themselves into a better place, placing the stress of others on your own shoulders is only going to make things damn near impossible on you.
Here’s a couple of example scenarios to help you determine whether or not you might be giving too many fucks:
- Bambi is having a crappy day, and complains to you about every trivial thing that happened to her throughout the day so far, and you find yourself getting angry at each cruel twist of fate on her behalf, even though each perceived slight or insult may only be a misunderstanding due to her attitude, and each event that fate seems to throw in her face with a vengeance may only really be a minor inconvenience.
- Horace asks you what you think about any number of social justice “issues”, and looks at you in a manner judgemental enough to make you feel nervous or insecure of your own opinions as you stammer through an oratory about things that you feel you SHOULD care about, but just don’t have the time or energy to because damn it, you work two jobs, and have a life, and can’t even fathom how other people have the spare time to do things like protest.
- There is no 3. 3 is a lie. By now, you should get the gist of it, and know whether or not this post is meant for you.
Okay, to be clear, feeling like you should care about stuff like this is normal. I’m just saying that it’s not always necessary. Sometimes, you gotta prioritize your emotions, as well as your time, otherwise you’re going to drive yourself crazy over things that really have no bearing on your personal goals and dreams.
Before deciding whether to react to something, try asking yourself these simple questions:
- Does this affect my livelihood? (By livelihood, I mean your ability to make your fucking money, with which you pay your living expenses.)
- Does this directly affect my daily life in any way?
- Is there a plausible solution to the problem?
- Can I go about my daily routine without worrying about this?
90% of the time, if you’re SUPER honest with yourself (which is hard sometimes, I know), you’ll answer ‘no’ to the first 3 questions, and ‘yes’ to the fourth. In that case, don’t fucking bother with whatever it is that someone is trying to put on your shoulders. Yes, it seems harsh. But you are not responsible for anyone else’s choices, actions, or responsibilities. Only yours. Someone can come to you to vent about a problem. You’ll feel the weird weight in your gut of wanting to help them with it. Stop.
Remember that stepping in to fix things for other people not only puts undue stress on yourself, but it also deprives them of the opportunity to learn from the experience, and removes their sense of independence and success when the do finally figure it out for themselves. Be a sounding-board. Help them brainstorm. But don’t keep thinking that you have to DO IT FOR THEM.
Manage your fucks wisely. Don’t give them out to everyone, because those fucks are expensive, and you need to make sure that if you’re going to invest your fucks in someone or something, that you will get a good return on your investment.